I'm a snob...

So, i think i'm a total ultrasound snob. I don't mean to be, it's just the fertility clinic has totally spoiled us....and yes, i'm totally blaming them!! :)

So, i went for a ultrasound yesterday at the regular obgyn's office...they did the ultrasound on the outside....and can i just say that it sucked!! I couldn't even see the baby, i had NO IDEA what i was looking at, i couldn't see the heart beating right away, i couldn't even tell there was a baby in there..... of course the ultrasound tech was all, oh there's an arm, there's it's fingers, oh there's the bones in it's face...i'm like, um, where are you seeing all this....totally disappointed. I even apologized to my mom, who we brought along so she could see the baby, and i was like sorry mom, that ultrasound totally sucked. LOL.... The good thing is i did eventually see the heartbeat and pointed it out to my mom and then the baby had hiccups. It was so cute!!! Also the clot is getting way smaller, so that's good. Anyways, she gave me a picture of the blurry, fuzzy, dark blob that's suppose to be my baby and i compared to my last weeks ultrasound at the clinic and it's totally night and day, the clinic's is super clear, i mean last week i saw the baby's little nubby fingers doing the robot....this week i barely could make out the baby.... so, it's official - i am an ultrasound snob. I seriously was about to ask the tech if we could just do an internal one, cuz i wanted to see my baby. :)

So, next appointment in two weeks, probably won't get another ultrasound then, which will be weird that i won't see the baby til we find out the gender.....

i've really have gotten a whole new appreciation for the amazing journey that a baby takes... i mean, we've seen our baby from the moment it was an embyro...all the way to a day before 10 weeks. We've seen it start from a yolk sac to a tiny flickering beating heart alien looking thing to a tiny little baby doing the robot and having hiccups. It it just amazing to watch a baby grow into life....... and to think that all this in such a short amount of time.

I'm 10 weeks today, officially in double digits and i am so happy. I've been crying lately (thanks hormones)for no reason...but today, i have a reason....when i think about how far we've come and everything we've been through. From the cold winter night 2 days before Christmas in 2008 when we were told we'd never have children, to all the testing I had to under go in 2009 and all the pain, the anger, the confusion, the hurt.... that Hubby and i have come out stronger and to making that decision up north sitting on the dock with my parents that IVF was the way we were going to go so we could have a family, all those tears for what was lost, but also all the smiles and happiness for what was to come. The anger when i had to give myself daily shots, but also the hope for being pregnant and having a family. The heartbreak and devastation when the 1st round didn't work, the low blow that we felt that made it hard to breathe. To the realization that we can try again and working together to make it a reality to the pure and raw indescribable emotion of happiness and pure bliss we felt when we got the call that we were indeed pregnant. To all the emotions felt since then - nervousness, happiness, scared, confused, worried, joy.....to today, knowing that i've made it to 10 weeks....i am almost done with 1st trimester and i can NOT wait to feel this baby moving....that moment will be amazing.