Hello? Anyone there???

It's weird....sometimes i feel like i have the plague....
It seems that when your friends trying for a baby or don't have a baby --you have things in common, you hang out, you go places and then this weird thing happens....your friends get pregnant. And they get all weird and strange and then slowly disappear. I don't sit there and talk about my issues, unless you ask and i try to keep it really short and vague.....and if you're pregnant, get ready....cuz i'm always asking questions...cuz i'm curious......

But don't just ignore me or just drop out of my life because you're pregnant, i realize what you're experiencing isn't what i am, but we are friends...we're going to go through things differently at different times.....talk to me about your pregnancy...be my friend.

Maybe it's something i've noticed cuz like 14 people i know are pregnant, but I'm not contiguous.... :(

So i was over here http://michaelandmarykate.blogspot.com reading Mary Kate's journey of IVF and now life with twins and
and found this poem....i thought it was fitting....

I will be a wonderful Mother

There are women who become mothers without effort,
without thought,
without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics or money
or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life,
the people who truly have appreciation
are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep,
explore, and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake
in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him
and that I am not waking to take another temperature,
pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense;
that God has given me this insight,
this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to
or a child that God leads me to,
I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,
neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment,
as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face,
yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me,
I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better,
I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine,
of other eyes that moisten as they learn
to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.