I surrender...

My white flag is up....it's waving...i surrender.
It's crazy the emotional roller coaster one goes on when they are trying to get pregnant and then throw in some fertility challenges, and it's quite the ride.
The past 2 weeks i've been feeling down, confused...not sure what to do.....
And today...i surrender. I am emotionally drained....i told poppa monkey, i'm done. I give up...we'll finish the acupuncture and then i'm done..... There's a reason why we aren't getting pregnant and no one can tell us how to fix it..so screw it..

I am so tired of crying, i am tired of trying everything under the sun and moon and nothing working...i am tired. I am tired of hearing about people trying so hard to get pregnant only to have it end in a miscarriage, i'm tired of hearing about people getting pregnant period. I am tired of trying for our 1st while ppl we know starting trying after us and are now pregnant with their 3rd child...i am tired.

Have we wasted the money on the acupuncture, maybe...maybe not. If anything, we'll walk away knowing we tired yet one more thing and if poppa monkey's allergies are better and i'm more balanced, then awesome.....we can't get our money back, so we might as well benefit from it as much as we can. I feel foolish that i allowed them to give us false hope.....i am no longer optismistic. I want results and i want them now. I am tired of waiting...2.5 years of waiting is far more then i ever thought i'd have to wait......so i'm done. I'm throwing in the towel and i'm done....