IVF

So, i haven't explained why after being told by medical Dr's that IVF is really our only way to have a child...why haven't we done the IVF----well, let me explain...

IVF scares the crap-ola out of me! Plain and simple.
The thought of injecting my body with hormones and getting bloated and then having my body produce a ton of eggs, take them out and petri-dish them with the lil' swimmers and then shove 'em back in my body and hope and pray that they stick....it's just sooo un-natural to me.

I'm in no way against IVF - it's just right now, it's not for me or us. I give props to those ladies who have to endure numerous rounds of IVF...and those who it works for them the 1st time....If IVF is for you, then by all means...go for it.
With that being said.....

I was on birt control pills(BCP) for years - 9-9.5 years..give or take a few months --and when i went off them i felt a little crazy, but then once they were out of my body....i felt like a different person, i wasn't as moody and bitchy...i was 'normal'. I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER go back on birth control!!!!(now, obviously, if i do IVF, i will have to be medicated with BCP so my cycle is regulated) I started BCP cuz my cycles were irregular and my friend had just started them and loved that she knew when her cycle was going to start....i wanted that...i was tired of always having to carry feminie products with me cuz there was no real rhyme or reason for my cycles.... NEVER again..... *Now, i'm not saying to never take BCP - take them at your own risk--if you don't use them, use some other sort of protection*

Sometimes, when i hear about a friend who is having a harder time getting pregnant and i hear she was on BCP for years....i wonder, i wonder if that has any correlation.

Anyways--so, IVF....so, when i think about how much BCP messed with my body and really how un-natural it all is....i just don't know if i want to put all those hormones into my body again...

I feel like i'm playing GOD ....if it's meant to be - it will be. I read a book called Hannah's Hope (http://www.hannah.org/ - that's the website and then you can find the book from there) and it talks about Hannah in the Bible who was wanting a child so much...she cried, she prayed and God gave her a child....and then he gave her like 5 more.....the point is.....i feel like when the time is right, GOD will give us children -- I know our prayers will be answered, it just won't be on my time.

Another Moral issue, is when they harvest my eggs, what if i produce like 10 eggs, and they all last the 5 days in the petri-dish...i'm only going to be putting in 2 eggs, and if that works the first time, what do i do with the left over 8 fertilized eggs? Obviously, if we have twins, i'm not sure we'd try again....maybe we'd only put in 1 egg if we tried again, but i'm still left with fertilized eggs--they are eggs that have my DNA and poppa monkey's DNA in them....they're our little baby monkeys...i can't just throw them away...i'm not sure i'd want to have someone buy them to use cuz those are my babies....and i can't just freeze them forever.....

I really don't want twins. I think i'm like one of the very few people out there that don't want twins...now, obviously, if we were blessed with twins....by all means, we would be so incredibly grateful....however, i also don't want to increase that chance. I realize that the percentage of twins through IVF is actually very low (something like 25%)....it's still increasing it significantly if we didn't do IVF.

Our insurance plan doesn't cover IVF or any fertility treatments. Crazy, since i live in a state that is mandated to cover IVF and IUI's (insemination) - but there's always a catch.... like, poppa monkey's work pays for it's own insurance... There's also if you have less then 25 employees and something else to meet this exception. Of course, HMO HAS to cover it, but poppa monkey's work doesn't offer an HMO.... So, we've looked up IVF plans - one that is money back if we don't come home with a live baby - is $30,000!!!! and that's not including the thousands we'd have to spend in meds. If we just did a regular cycle - then it's like $17,000, and again not including the meds. So, we can't afford to spend all this money on something that MAY or MAY NOT even work. I've known some couples that IVF works the 1st time and they only end up with a singleton and i've known some couples who have gone through IVF more then 2 times.....i just don't know if i can go through the emotional toll IVF can cause...i mean, technically, once those fertilized eggs are transfer ed back, you're pregnant...and then to have to wait to see if they stick....*sigh*

So, I know we've been told that we have a less then 1% chance of conceiving naturally, but i've seen people beat the odds, i've heard stories of people beating the odds.....and if we can conceive as naturally as possible, then let's do it!!! After all, 1% isn't 0...so, we still have a chance and miracles can happen everyday.