I'm a snob...

So, i think i'm a total ultrasound snob. I don't mean to be, it's just the fertility clinic has totally spoiled us....and yes, i'm totally blaming them!! :)

So, i went for a ultrasound yesterday at the regular obgyn's office...they did the ultrasound on the outside....and can i just say that it sucked!! I couldn't even see the baby, i had NO IDEA what i was looking at, i couldn't see the heart beating right away, i couldn't even tell there was a baby in there..... of course the ultrasound tech was all, oh there's an arm, there's it's fingers, oh there's the bones in it's face...i'm like, um, where are you seeing all this....totally disappointed. I even apologized to my mom, who we brought along so she could see the baby, and i was like sorry mom, that ultrasound totally sucked. LOL.... The good thing is i did eventually see the heartbeat and pointed it out to my mom and then the baby had hiccups. It was so cute!!! Also the clot is getting way smaller, so that's good. Anyways, she gave me a picture of the blurry, fuzzy, dark blob that's suppose to be my baby and i compared to my last weeks ultrasound at the clinic and it's totally night and day, the clinic's is super clear, i mean last week i saw the baby's little nubby fingers doing the robot....this week i barely could make out the baby.... so, it's official - i am an ultrasound snob. I seriously was about to ask the tech if we could just do an internal one, cuz i wanted to see my baby. :)

So, next appointment in two weeks, probably won't get another ultrasound then, which will be weird that i won't see the baby til we find out the gender.....

i've really have gotten a whole new appreciation for the amazing journey that a baby takes... i mean, we've seen our baby from the moment it was an embyro...all the way to a day before 10 weeks. We've seen it start from a yolk sac to a tiny flickering beating heart alien looking thing to a tiny little baby doing the robot and having hiccups. It it just amazing to watch a baby grow into life....... and to think that all this in such a short amount of time.

I'm 10 weeks today, officially in double digits and i am so happy. I've been crying lately (thanks hormones)for no reason...but today, i have a reason....when i think about how far we've come and everything we've been through. From the cold winter night 2 days before Christmas in 2008 when we were told we'd never have children, to all the testing I had to under go in 2009 and all the pain, the anger, the confusion, the hurt.... that Hubby and i have come out stronger and to making that decision up north sitting on the dock with my parents that IVF was the way we were going to go so we could have a family, all those tears for what was lost, but also all the smiles and happiness for what was to come. The anger when i had to give myself daily shots, but also the hope for being pregnant and having a family. The heartbreak and devastation when the 1st round didn't work, the low blow that we felt that made it hard to breathe. To the realization that we can try again and working together to make it a reality to the pure and raw indescribable emotion of happiness and pure bliss we felt when we got the call that we were indeed pregnant. To all the emotions felt since then - nervousness, happiness, scared, confused, worried, joy.....to today, knowing that i've made it to 10 weeks....i am almost done with 1st trimester and i can NOT wait to feel this baby moving....that moment will be amazing.

FFRRREEEDDDOOOMMMMM

That's right ya'all, i have some freedom!!! no more stuck in bed 24/7....i can actually move down to the couch and lay there all day if i so choose....lol. I can also walk around a bit more, like doing more of my job and not just having to sit there with my feet up. I can also go out to the movies if i want to or go out to dinner at a restaurant. I can also do the dishes, and put them away...as long as they are not too heavy. I can not take the dog out and i can not vacuum yet. I also can not work out/walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I still have to take it easy and i have to use common sense --the Dr said that basically everything i do is magnified... a normal pregnancy wouldn't need so many restrictions, but mine does since i'm a IVF patient and i'm a bit more delicate. We got to hear the heartbeat on the little Doppler thingy (from the outside) took him awhile and he said we might not hear it, but we sure did hear that little heart beating away....it was so cool. I go in Thurs for a ultrasound so they can check the clot and then we get to peak at the baby...i'm bringing my mom since she's never seen a real live ultrasound, since they didn't do that much when i was born. She's pretty stoked about it, i'm sure she'll cry. Dr said he'll probably check the clot again in 2 week to make sure it's still getting smaller....I was like sweet! I thought i wouldn't see the baby til like 20 weeks....but hearing the heartbeat makes me feel so much better knowing that the baby is in there just floating around.

I think i lost my morning sickness....not that i'm sure that's what i had to begin with, but it sounds like it was a slight version of it. It tends to hit around the lunch hour, so i've been making sure that i snack around 1030 and have a orange about 11am and then eat a lunch and either another orange about an hour after lunch or some cheese, and that's been helping to not make it come..... so now that i wrote that down, i'm sure tomorrow it's going to come in full force.

Other then that -i've been feeling really great. I'm tired a little bit more and i'm sure i will be until i gain some strength back and start slowly getting into the swing of things. Hubby is still not comfortable with me doing more things, i think he really wanted the Dr to say that i can't do anything but lay in bed....but alas, the Dr did not and i wanted hubby to hear it from the Dr that i can do some more things, but i still have to take it easy and use common sense...... i do feel a little better that i get to not be stuck in bed all day....

wrapping paper, bows and babies

Wow, i can't believe 2010 is almost over and that Christmas has just passed. I can truly say i have been given the best gift ever this Christmas, a growing baby...truly a miracle and gift from God.

Appointment went well....baby is looking like a baby now...so freakn' cute. It even did a little robot dance...it has little nubby hands and we saw some legs and feet (2 legs, 2 feet) and it was just amazing....squirming around and being all cute. HR 183. Clot is getting smaller, the width is getting smaller faster then the length, but as long as it's getting smaller. Stopping the suppos. this week and then just continue the PIO shots til Jan...

Feeling emotional lately, the last few days i just start crying for no reason...like on Christmas, my cousin got me a book for the baby, and i was reading it and just started to think about the baby and how far we've come and everything we've been through and then i started crying..... and today, i was watching a movie with the hubby and i just started crying cuz i was thinking about the baby and just wanted to make sure the baby was doing well and i want to get some of my life back, but i am so worried about the baby and just wanting it to be doing so well.... I don't know if it's cuz i know i won't be checking in on it every week anymore and i'm just getting worried or what, but i just want to know my baby is safe and growing and doing well....i just want to get further along and feel the baby moving around. I just want this bloodclot to be healed and gone and i just would love for the rest of the pregnancy to be non eventful.....

I hope you all have a very Merry and blessed Christmas!!

seriously?

Ugh, i think i'm getting morning sickness.....today. So, the last few weeks i'd say that if i didn't eat every few hours then i'd start to feel icky....once i ate, it was fine. Well, today......i ate some lunch and then started to feel icky while i was eating, so then i thought well, i'll just eat a little more and see if that helps....well it did for about 2 seconds and then i felt icky again....and it last all freakn day... until i ate a ice cream cone from McDonald's....and then i felt much better. Strange. I'm feeling okay now too that i've had some pizza, which i was also really wanting while i was getting the ice cream cone.... so, i dunno what it is...i'm assuming it's 'morning sickness' starting to kick in..... best make sure i bring an orange to work tomorrow in case it kicks in again...this won't be fun....but i guess i can't really complain...i always wanted to be pregnant and i guess sometimes 'morning sickness' is just part of that process.....
Ultrasound tomorrow, i'm super excited and i wonder what baby will look like....and then close out with the fertility clinic...i'm actually kinda sad, i really like the Dr and the nurses.....and i don't like change. But, i'm also excited to work with my reg. obgyn... One day, one moment at a time.

still laying here....

You'd think with all this bed rest going on, i'd be posting here more and getting those photos up here, but the problem is...i'm upstairs and the camera is downstairs...also, have you ever tried typing on a laptop, laying down and making sure the laptop was not on your belly area....yeah, fun times.

Anyhoo....well, last week we were told the clot is getting smaller, so we've been instructed to continue doing what we were doing......ugh. I'm still eating yucky yams and drinking OJ by the gallons.....oranges are my new favorite snack and tomato's are pretty tasty too.

Being pregnant and being on bed rest don't really go together.....although if it means i'll have a normal, healthy pregnancy from here on out, by all means i'll do it....but i could not even begin to imagine having to be on full bed rest at like 21 weeks....super duper hard. My hubby's cousin was put on hospital bed rest towards the end of her pregnancy and she told me do what i have to so i can stay home....def. don't have to tell me twice.

The negative thing about being on bed rest is that i literally eat and lay down..... the only movement i do is when i get up to go to the bathroom....sooooo needless to say, i'm starting to freak out a little about weight gain. I don't know if i have gained weight, but i'm pretty sure i have since i'm just plan out non-active..... all the books i've read have been like you should not gain weight in 1st trimester....great...that went right out the window....plus i have a sister who is 19weeks along and she barely has a bump...so of course she'll get to stay active and skinny during pregnancy...i get to be non-active and turn into a rolly pollie. I know our pregnancies are different, just like our body types are totally different, but still...for once i would like some good body things to happen...ya know. I know, i have no right to complain about anything pregnancy related..... but this is my one area that is really hard for me... i mean, i would not trade places with anyone, because even if i am going to be a rolly pollie, at least it means i'm pregnant. But, i just don't want to get overly huge.....and i know some of that comes from people going to compare me and my sister, since we're both pregs at the same time...but, i hope they won't judge tooo much... i mean, if i could at least walk a few times a week and lift weights, i'd feel sooo much better about things...but i can't....and i know it won't last forever....it's only temporary and if i have to take it easy my whole pregnancy, then so be it...i know i can work out after baby comes.....ugh.

yams are

so disgusting..... i can not stand them and gag every time i have to put them in my mouth.... tonight, we tried puree them and mixing with scrambled eggs....ugh, still gross...no amount of ketchup covered their nasty taste up...

now that that's out...... had a follow up apt today...... drum roll....
baby's heart beat 155! It's a girl!!! LOL - there's that old wives tale that says anything above 140 is a girl, below is a boy. So, today it's a girl...or it's just from all that stinking' OJ i've been drinking....lol
Baby was looking strong and great...it was the most amazing little blob... this weekend i'm hoping to get pictures of all the pictures we've gotten...it's really amazing to see the lil' guy grow... we also heard the heartbeat again....seriously, that is just such an amazing sound.....truly, such a wondrous amazing thing that God has allowed us to create life...to hear the beating heart, to know i have life inside me, that this is not about me or the hubby, that our lives are going to change in a short 7 months....i have a life growing and changing and fighting for life....amazing!!!
The other good news is that although the clot is still there, it is smaller...yeah! She said my uterus looked very happy today ...last week my uterus was VERY angry... and no contraction either, the baby has lots of room to move around...woot!
So, restrictions at work and bed rest when i'm not at work are continued until the clot is gone...it's working, so we're told to stick to it. I have one more follow up with the fertility clinic, next week and then i'm released to my obgyn. Which i'll have that apt at the end of the month already...cool.
I'm still on endometrim supps. and PIO shots til at least the beginning of Jan...that's when the placenta will take over and that will make progesterone for my body....the ovaries are suppose to be doing that, but because we suppressed them, that's why i'm on the suppos and PIO shots.
So, here's hoping next week the clot is even smaller and the baby continues to be awesome and strong and grow.... :)
Thank you all for your positive thoughts and prayers sent out to the universe...they are working...

we have a heartbeat...again

Had my follow up and here’s what we’ve got—

A growing baby, who’s heart rate has increased and is perfect….. my due date is about July 30th or Aug 1st. I'm measuring 6wks 4days, which is just perfect.

Concerns: I have quite the subchronic bleed- which caused the bleeding on Saturday. Basically, it will either continue to come out or will be reabsorbed, the good news is that it has clotted, so it’s not an active bleed. I am to drink lots of OJ, eat oranges, tomatoes and yams. I am on pelvic rest and limited bed rest.

I also have a tiny uterine contraction – which could be from all the freakn' stress and activity that’s going on in there.

Geez….i can’t wait to get into 2nd trimester….but, one day, one moment at a time…

So, please continue the good thoughts and prayers that the baby continues to stay strong and all this stuff clears up.