the final days....

before i'm PUPO!!! (pregnant until proven otherwise)
So, you'll all be glad to know my estrogen levels are great!!! My lining as of Wednesday was 9.94. When i did IVF#1 - my lining was at a 10.1. What does that mean....it means the thicker the lining the better and if i had 9.94 Wednesday, i'm hoping my lining will be thicker then 10.1(and it should) by transfer day. Anything over 8 is great...but from what i've been reading/been told, 11 or 12 are even greater numbers. I've had an increase of CM, which is blue...thank you estrace, which i heard is a great sign that my lining is thickening up...i don't remember all this with the 1st round...

Did the dreaded PIO shot and i'm still here to talk about it. Seriously, it was not bad at all!! So, i went away for the weekend and a friend had to do my shot, she's a nurse, so it was a breeze for her and i think that's why it was painless, cuz she's a pro. it hurt for the second the needle goes into the skin, but i had to have her draw it up and such, cuz the large needle was making me sweat a little bit...lol. After the shot, i massaged the area and put a heating pad on it and no pain, even 2 days later and no soreness or anything.....which i heard is what sucks the most...but it's all good so far. I'll let you know if i survive Monday's shot with the hubby...lol.I'm a little nervous about hubby doing the shot, cuz i know he's going to be nervous and i'm going to be nervous and i grantee there will probably be some snarkyness thrown around by both of us, which won't help. But, i just hope we can do this, which i know we will, i just have a feeling it's going to be just a bit more painful.

Today is a big day for me.... when we did round 1, my sister announced her pregnancy...so you can imagine having two sisters, one who is officially knocked up and one who is PUPO....we would have been about 2 1/2-3wks apart..lol. It was a little weird when the IVF didn't work and we had to have some conversations. We were excited about the idea of having babies so close, we discussed a shared baby shower and a shared announcement...which would have been today. This was the one thing we really had kinda 'planned'....the one thing that had a date...the one thing that i'm going to with an empty womb and my sister is going to get to make her announcement. My heart breaks a little today, i would've been in my 10th week.... i think once i'm passed today, things will be a little easier, it's like this day has been hanging over my heart for the past month and once i get pass this, i'm good...ya know what i mean? I'm nervous though, i'm nervous i might cry or be sad....so i have a plan..cuz this is my sister's day and this day is a happy day... i haven't been able to talk to her about how she's going to do it, etc...so i gotta kinda just hang out around 'exits'...so if i get emotional, i can take a 'bathroom' break or a little walk around the neighborhood, i don't think anyone will notice with all the excitement.... So a lot of mixed emotions and i'm trying my best to be nice to myself about it and take it easy on myself and really understand that it's okay to feel this way...we experienced a loss--a loss of hope, a dream, a future, a possibility of being parents. It does make it a little easier that Wednesday(transfer day) is right around the corner...but my meds have changed and the progesterone i think is making me super emotional and tired....which for me isn't a good mix, especially when i'm nervous and anxious about something, it's almost positive that i'll cry.