Since i'm on this music kick - thought i'd share a song that seems to always be on the radio whenever i'm thinking about giving up and just throwing in the towel and accepting that i just might never be a mom.....this song comes on and reminds me that it is what it is.....and it's this time, these moments that i will learn from, that i will become stronger...... If a couple can go through fertility issues and still come to the top together, then that relationship also becomes stronger......
Believe me when i say, i can easily understand how marriages can end when dealing with fertility. Specially when they want nothing more then to expand their love for each other into a Child of God. The feelings i have experienced vary on what's going on...but in the beginning there was shock, confusion, hurt, pain, guilt, pity, anger.....and as time goes on, frustration, hopelessness, giving up on trying, quitting, anger, sadness, guilt.....and even now it's the always questioning yourself....should we do this procedure, should we save the money, what do we do?
There are days that i have my pity parties...even if it's just to cry and be angry for 5 minutes......poppa monkey gives me a hug, lets me cry and be angry and then i'm fine and the world goes on. It's hard to suffer fertility issues, cuz there's not a lot of people who talk about it, it's like shameful or something and so one suffers in silence, questioning their emotions, feelings, thoughts, wondering if they're 'normal'.......one of the reason's i'm blogging, is to reach out to others, to let them know if they suffer from fertility issues that they're not alone, i'm very open about our journey...
This month has been hard, although hard, i am nothing more then excited for all the 2010 babies that are coming.....no matter where my path leads me, i am always so happy to hear that someone was able to get pregnant. The reason why i think i'm so easily joyed by that news is that because i don't want others to have to go through what we're going through...
There are many, many ladies who are pregnant in my life...some just gave birth, some are going to within in the week, and some over the next few months. I found out 3 of my friends were expecting just in this week alone..... so that's 10 people - 3 of them will give birth in the next week or so..... It's crazy.... i'm not even really thinking about it, and it's just like where ever i turn baby! LOL...
I hope some of this baby vibe rubs off on us....
The Climb - Miley Cyrus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNkrzRLJeU8
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