wrapping paper, bows and babies

Wow, i can't believe 2010 is almost over and that Christmas has just passed. I can truly say i have been given the best gift ever this Christmas, a growing baby...truly a miracle and gift from God.

Appointment went well....baby is looking like a baby now...so freakn' cute. It even did a little robot dance...it has little nubby hands and we saw some legs and feet (2 legs, 2 feet) and it was just amazing....squirming around and being all cute. HR 183. Clot is getting smaller, the width is getting smaller faster then the length, but as long as it's getting smaller. Stopping the suppos. this week and then just continue the PIO shots til Jan...

Feeling emotional lately, the last few days i just start crying for no reason...like on Christmas, my cousin got me a book for the baby, and i was reading it and just started to think about the baby and how far we've come and everything we've been through and then i started crying..... and today, i was watching a movie with the hubby and i just started crying cuz i was thinking about the baby and just wanted to make sure the baby was doing well and i want to get some of my life back, but i am so worried about the baby and just wanting it to be doing so well.... I don't know if it's cuz i know i won't be checking in on it every week anymore and i'm just getting worried or what, but i just want to know my baby is safe and growing and doing well....i just want to get further along and feel the baby moving around. I just want this bloodclot to be healed and gone and i just would love for the rest of the pregnancy to be non eventful.....

I hope you all have a very Merry and blessed Christmas!!

seriously?

Ugh, i think i'm getting morning sickness.....today. So, the last few weeks i'd say that if i didn't eat every few hours then i'd start to feel icky....once i ate, it was fine. Well, today......i ate some lunch and then started to feel icky while i was eating, so then i thought well, i'll just eat a little more and see if that helps....well it did for about 2 seconds and then i felt icky again....and it last all freakn day... until i ate a ice cream cone from McDonald's....and then i felt much better. Strange. I'm feeling okay now too that i've had some pizza, which i was also really wanting while i was getting the ice cream cone.... so, i dunno what it is...i'm assuming it's 'morning sickness' starting to kick in..... best make sure i bring an orange to work tomorrow in case it kicks in again...this won't be fun....but i guess i can't really complain...i always wanted to be pregnant and i guess sometimes 'morning sickness' is just part of that process.....
Ultrasound tomorrow, i'm super excited and i wonder what baby will look like....and then close out with the fertility clinic...i'm actually kinda sad, i really like the Dr and the nurses.....and i don't like change. But, i'm also excited to work with my reg. obgyn... One day, one moment at a time.

still laying here....

You'd think with all this bed rest going on, i'd be posting here more and getting those photos up here, but the problem is...i'm upstairs and the camera is downstairs...also, have you ever tried typing on a laptop, laying down and making sure the laptop was not on your belly area....yeah, fun times.

Anyhoo....well, last week we were told the clot is getting smaller, so we've been instructed to continue doing what we were doing......ugh. I'm still eating yucky yams and drinking OJ by the gallons.....oranges are my new favorite snack and tomato's are pretty tasty too.

Being pregnant and being on bed rest don't really go together.....although if it means i'll have a normal, healthy pregnancy from here on out, by all means i'll do it....but i could not even begin to imagine having to be on full bed rest at like 21 weeks....super duper hard. My hubby's cousin was put on hospital bed rest towards the end of her pregnancy and she told me do what i have to so i can stay home....def. don't have to tell me twice.

The negative thing about being on bed rest is that i literally eat and lay down..... the only movement i do is when i get up to go to the bathroom....sooooo needless to say, i'm starting to freak out a little about weight gain. I don't know if i have gained weight, but i'm pretty sure i have since i'm just plan out non-active..... all the books i've read have been like you should not gain weight in 1st trimester....great...that went right out the window....plus i have a sister who is 19weeks along and she barely has a bump...so of course she'll get to stay active and skinny during pregnancy...i get to be non-active and turn into a rolly pollie. I know our pregnancies are different, just like our body types are totally different, but still...for once i would like some good body things to happen...ya know. I know, i have no right to complain about anything pregnancy related..... but this is my one area that is really hard for me... i mean, i would not trade places with anyone, because even if i am going to be a rolly pollie, at least it means i'm pregnant. But, i just don't want to get overly huge.....and i know some of that comes from people going to compare me and my sister, since we're both pregs at the same time...but, i hope they won't judge tooo much... i mean, if i could at least walk a few times a week and lift weights, i'd feel sooo much better about things...but i can't....and i know it won't last forever....it's only temporary and if i have to take it easy my whole pregnancy, then so be it...i know i can work out after baby comes.....ugh.

yams are

so disgusting..... i can not stand them and gag every time i have to put them in my mouth.... tonight, we tried puree them and mixing with scrambled eggs....ugh, still gross...no amount of ketchup covered their nasty taste up...

now that that's out...... had a follow up apt today...... drum roll....
baby's heart beat 155! It's a girl!!! LOL - there's that old wives tale that says anything above 140 is a girl, below is a boy. So, today it's a girl...or it's just from all that stinking' OJ i've been drinking....lol
Baby was looking strong and great...it was the most amazing little blob... this weekend i'm hoping to get pictures of all the pictures we've gotten...it's really amazing to see the lil' guy grow... we also heard the heartbeat again....seriously, that is just such an amazing sound.....truly, such a wondrous amazing thing that God has allowed us to create life...to hear the beating heart, to know i have life inside me, that this is not about me or the hubby, that our lives are going to change in a short 7 months....i have a life growing and changing and fighting for life....amazing!!!
The other good news is that although the clot is still there, it is smaller...yeah! She said my uterus looked very happy today ...last week my uterus was VERY angry... and no contraction either, the baby has lots of room to move around...woot!
So, restrictions at work and bed rest when i'm not at work are continued until the clot is gone...it's working, so we're told to stick to it. I have one more follow up with the fertility clinic, next week and then i'm released to my obgyn. Which i'll have that apt at the end of the month already...cool.
I'm still on endometrim supps. and PIO shots til at least the beginning of Jan...that's when the placenta will take over and that will make progesterone for my body....the ovaries are suppose to be doing that, but because we suppressed them, that's why i'm on the suppos and PIO shots.
So, here's hoping next week the clot is even smaller and the baby continues to be awesome and strong and grow.... :)
Thank you all for your positive thoughts and prayers sent out to the universe...they are working...

we have a heartbeat...again

Had my follow up and here’s what we’ve got—

A growing baby, who’s heart rate has increased and is perfect….. my due date is about July 30th or Aug 1st. I'm measuring 6wks 4days, which is just perfect.

Concerns: I have quite the subchronic bleed- which caused the bleeding on Saturday. Basically, it will either continue to come out or will be reabsorbed, the good news is that it has clotted, so it’s not an active bleed. I am to drink lots of OJ, eat oranges, tomatoes and yams. I am on pelvic rest and limited bed rest.

I also have a tiny uterine contraction – which could be from all the freakn' stress and activity that’s going on in there.

Geez….i can’t wait to get into 2nd trimester….but, one day, one moment at a time…

So, please continue the good thoughts and prayers that the baby continues to stay strong and all this stuff clears up.

7 hours at the ER.....

that's how i spent my Saturday morning and early afternoon. If you don't want to read the gory details...then i'd suggest you skip the main part and start reading at the end by the astrick....
So, i began brown spotting on tuesday, told it could be the meds...no big deal...blah blah blah...went and saw that we had ONE baby growing up in there on wednesday....spotting had pretty much tapered off...well, thrs PM and friday i started spotting brown again...but this time it was staying on my panty liner...nothing major, but it was def. on the panty liner. Friday PM put in my med b4 bed and didn't have anything on the applicator and nothing when wiped ...great, i thought, it's going away...yeah! I woke up at 1am on Saturday, peed and nothing on the TP when i wiped...again, thought awesome. Then at just about 5am, i woke up with pressure/discomfort in my bum and thought maybe i had to poop...nope, just peed and passed gas...then i wiped and there was red on the TP...a lot, then i turned around and looked in the toilet and more red....i thought, okay, well, if i'm miscarrying, there's nothing a dr can do...i'll just lay down.... Keep in mind we had a huge snow storm going on at this time as well...and i HATE driving in the snow. So, i laid down going back and forth in my head if i should 1-call the hubby, 2-go to the ER or 3-just stay home. I wasn't cramping, so i thought okay, well, i'm def. NOT cramping....about a 1/2 hr later i ended up having to pee again and this time i felt the blood coming out, i looked on the floor and there was some blood on the floor from the 1st time that i had looked in the toilet....i cleaned that up, put on a pad and decided i needed to go to the ER, i thought maybe i tore something on the inside and i was slowly going to bleed to death. I thought about calling 911, but i was like well, i don't feel light headed or anything...so i should be able to drive myself. I called the hubby who was at work and told him i was going to the ER. So, off i went driving about 10 mph....surprisingly, i was relatively calm, i cried off and on and i talked to the baby and i did A LOT of prayers to God. I got to the ER around 615am, and as soon as i was there, i lost it, i just started balling....the nurses were soooo sooo nice to me..... it really made all the difference. One nurse was like i did fertility treatments too and bleed the whole 9 months and i'm like omg, that totally blows. Another nurse said that a lot of women will bleed during pregnancy and everything will be okay. I got into a room and they took a urine sample and blood work.... i was there for about an hour b4 the hubby was able to get there from work....and then we waited....about 8/9am, they sent me for a ultrasound, which i needed a full bladder for....after 3 trips to the bathroom, the ultrasound tech was like yah, your bladder is still full...okay, seriously, did it shrink or something? If i was worried i was dehydrated, at least i knew i wasn't..... anyways, they did an external ultrasound...so fun when you have a full bladder and then she did an internal ultrasound...she spent a good 15min or longer (at least that's how long it felt) with each ultrasound....lots of clicks and such, i couldn't see the screen though....hubby could see it...and this lady told us NOTHING...i'd ask questions, and she's be like well, i'm not a dr, i can't say anything. The hubby recognized the baby from the ultrasound on weds. and was like oh, is that the yolk sac and the lady did say yes. So, i relaxed a little cuz i knew there was def. something still in there....then i heard a dathumpdadumpdathump...and she said, that was your babies heartbeat. I still get teary thinking about that moment.....the 1st time we got to hear our babies heartbeat.....it truly was such an amazing beautiful sound...i will never forget that moment....and of course i cried, but they were happy tears cuz knowing we had a heartbeat, when just 3 days before we could see it...oh, it made me feel a little better. So, then we waited some more, played charades to kill some time and then the Dr came and and said that we did have a live baby and it had a heartbeat, however he said that it was slow, and although it is normal for a baby to have a slow heartbeat sometimes, as some babies just do, because i had the bleeding, he was concerned. He then did an internal examine to make sure my cervix was closed and it was. The on call dr for the fertility clinic called us back and basically said that 2 out of 3 FET patients will have bleeding and 95% of those pregnancies turn out normal. He was not concerned with the heart rate and stated that as long as their was a fetal heart rate it didn't matter what it was, it was there and i needed to follow up with the office on monday. So, that's what i'll be doing 1st thing i wake up tomorrow. I'd say the bleeding finally stopped after awhile and by like 11amish or a little earlier it was turning pinkish when i wiped....but no new blood on my pad, which the nurse checked a few times.... at one point she was like, is this okay that your husband is here while we do this, and i'm like uh, yeah, at this point, he's seen it all....Man, i am so over my vagina....i don't know how i'm going to handle being in labor pains and having drs and nurses sticking their hands up there...ugh. So....no cause of the bleeding....it did taper off b4 i left and i put myself on bed rest. It has tapered off to a dark brown now, no new red blood though, so that makes me feel better....i am spotting now, and sometimes when i wipe there's really nothing on the TP, which makes me feel better too. My HCG level did go up...so that made me feel better too.

++So, heard the sweetest sound ever, which is our little baby's heartbeat and hcg level did go up, bleeding stopped and has now tapered off to brown spotting. No cramping or any pain. and my hubby wins the bestest hubby ever award for catering to my every need... i love him and appreciate him taking care of everything so i don't have to worry about it. He deserves some serious vacation time... :)

For the praying type, please pray for our baby, that it's safe and growing and it's little heart is continuing to beat...thank you!!

ew

So, ever since i became pregnant - i think i'm starting to turn into a germaphobe. Seriously. I went to the court house yesterday and all i could think about was how gross and nasty and germy the place was.... i REALLY really wished i had had my hand santizer....all i was thinking was omg, my poor baby porkchop is going to get sick.... yikes..what's going to happen when they are here, and exposed to such germs? ugh. 5 more days and then we see our baby again and hopefully a beautiful heartbeat. The brown bleeding as started up again, and now it's ending up on my pantyliner.... i'm thankful that it's brown still and i don't have any cramping....
I just hope my bean is doing okay in there and growing away like crazy.

Please continue the prayers and good thoughts that my baby is doing awesome and that we see a heartbeat!