thoughts

So, i've had a lot of thoughts these last few days....random thoughts and mostly about the health of my daughter.

I try to stay off google to get information, especially about pregnancy things, since there's a lot of info out there and some of it is wrong and scary.
I read up a little about thyroid things, since i know nothing about it. Turns out if you're thyroid is wack, especially during 1st trimester, baby can have cong and development disabilities. Oh and GD can cause speech impairment.... I'm so so so so worried and i know no matter what, we will love our baby - and i'm sure every mother wants the best for her child and wants them to be healthy...

I was thinking the other day just about all that our baby has gone through.... i mean, just getting to the point of being able to be viable and going through a blood clot and the stress with that, and continuing to grow strong despite all the stress....making it through blood pressure issues and now diabetes and thyroid stuff.... i mean, it just floors me that even in pregnancy, in the womb, she's still had to be a fighter. I just hope that the world is kind to her, and that she doesn't have to fight so hard out in the 'real world'.....that if she does have disabilities that the world isn't cruel......

While i had these worries yesterday as i was driving home, i saw a sign - the sign i get that lets me know that things are going to be okay. My sign are deer. The last time i saw deer, was shortly after i was in the ER with the bleeding and i was thinking about baby and all of a sudden a deer was just there, and i knew that everything would be okay. Prior to that, i saw some deer the morning of my BETA test, and one looked up and i swear it was like it saw me and just watched me drive by and i got chills and i just knew at that moment that the FET worked and i was pregnant. So i know everything will be okay - no matter what. Everything will be okay.