now you see me, now you don't......

and now you see me again...lol. Things have been 'emotional' to say the least. But know that hubby and i are doing okay. Our failed IVF will not define us, nor will our infertility. The way we look at it, is that IVF #1 is just another bump in the road....we've been on this road for almost 3 years now.....we should have just expected this....but on the other hand, i'm glad we were excited and hopeful. Apparently, nothing can be just easy for us, so we just have to work a little harder.

We're gearing up for round 2 - an FET coming up -- I've read that with FET (frozen embryo transfer) are statistically less successful then a fresh transfer (IVF) however, FET's are so much more natural. There has been a lot of info out there that show FET's can be successful because you aren't putting your body through the stress of all the meds and such that you do with a IVF cycle.
With the FET, i will be doing my one lupron shot, which will end by the time i have to begin my PIO (the dreaded shot in the butt)shot, which i will only have to do every 3 days......one of which happens to fall on my birthday.....happy birthday to me, i get a big ass shot in my butt....wooo hoooo!! I will do estrogen patches and the progesterone vag. suppositories again....otherwise, i'm not stimming anything, so that's great.

I was feeling a little uncertain if i was ready to do this again....but after allowing myself to grieve and heal........we're ready to go and we're excited. One thing about having to do more then one cycle, is you literally have to forget what happened last time....otherwise, it'll weigh you down.... So, although we won't forget our 'first 2 babies'...we're excited for the future and hope that if not both, but at least one of our babies this time around will stick. :) I am hopeful and know that if it is going to happen, it will happen.

Have you watched Guiliana and Bill? (Bill was the first apprentice with Donald Trump and Guiliana does the E! channel) Anyways, they have been filming their struggles and monday night they did a IVF cycle....it worked,(she later miscarries unfort.) but it was nice to hear their conversations, since many seemed to come straight from our house...their feelings and fears and all that, is so real....cuz we had those same feelings and fears. And it was great, cuz my family can watch the show and get a better understanding of what we are going through.....they got to see Guiliana after her retrieval and saw how much pain she was in, how uncomfortable she was...now they understand what i went through....they just never got to see it.....kwim... The best part, maybe i'll run into them one day, we just happen to go to the same place...
If you don't watch it, i suggest you do.... Monday nights at 7pm on Style channel.