wow....

So, i was curious about what the percentage of actually getting pregnant ....
are you ready for this....
20-25% chance every month of getting pregnant....not very high huh?
And then i looked up via my age and in the bracket my age falls into....
i only have a 63% chance of getting pregnant in a year....that's like just barely a D- if i was still in school...... and that's also if we were 100% fertile....crazy huh?

"The Climb"....

Since i'm on this music kick - thought i'd share a song that seems to always be on the radio whenever i'm thinking about giving up and just throwing in the towel and accepting that i just might never be a mom.....this song comes on and reminds me that it is what it is.....and it's this time, these moments that i will learn from, that i will become stronger...... If a couple can go through fertility issues and still come to the top together, then that relationship also becomes stronger......

Believe me when i say, i can easily understand how marriages can end when dealing with fertility. Specially when they want nothing more then to expand their love for each other into a Child of God. The feelings i have experienced vary on what's going on...but in the beginning there was shock, confusion, hurt, pain, guilt, pity, anger.....and as time goes on, frustration, hopelessness, giving up on trying, quitting, anger, sadness, guilt.....and even now it's the always questioning yourself....should we do this procedure, should we save the money, what do we do?
There are days that i have my pity parties...even if it's just to cry and be angry for 5 minutes......poppa monkey gives me a hug, lets me cry and be angry and then i'm fine and the world goes on. It's hard to suffer fertility issues, cuz there's not a lot of people who talk about it, it's like shameful or something and so one suffers in silence, questioning their emotions, feelings, thoughts, wondering if they're 'normal'.......one of the reason's i'm blogging, is to reach out to others, to let them know if they suffer from fertility issues that they're not alone, i'm very open about our journey...

This month has been hard, although hard, i am nothing more then excited for all the 2010 babies that are coming.....no matter where my path leads me, i am always so happy to hear that someone was able to get pregnant. The reason why i think i'm so easily joyed by that news is that because i don't want others to have to go through what we're going through...
There are many, many ladies who are pregnant in my life...some just gave birth, some are going to within in the week, and some over the next few months. I found out 3 of my friends were expecting just in this week alone..... so that's 10 people - 3 of them will give birth in the next week or so..... It's crazy.... i'm not even really thinking about it, and it's just like where ever i turn baby! LOL...

I hope some of this baby vibe rubs off on us....

The Climb - Miley Cyrus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNkrzRLJeU8

Music heals the soul.....part 2

Just continuing from my last post songs that i think i'm going to put on a CD some day for baby monkey to listen to in the womb...

Earth Song - Michael Jackson --in the This is It Movie....if poppa monkey and i have a girl, the little girl in the video reminds me of what she could look like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqeADZgjtpY

In my Life - Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ5N4-X_HWU

And Dave Matthews singing it too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw-TUO7A-HQ

Fireflies - Owl City
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO3gg2cVfxg

Keep Holding on -Avril sings this one, but i like the Glee Cast version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqtij7ocR2A

Blackbird - Sarah McLachlan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VrggQW7tk

Ordinary Miracle - Sarah McLachlan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Urv7tyeJ7qE

Where are you Going - Dave Matthews Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjykrjAS5bQ

You and Me - Dave Matthews Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD9CrZODlNA

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkHTsc9PU2A

Redemption Song - Bob Marley ---although i really enjoy the version on a Starbucks CD we got over the holidays

Heal the World - Michael Jackson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YXvNuzqkfw

The Way you Make me Feel -Michael Jackson
Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson

music heals the soul.....part 1

So, since i tend to think a lot about one day when i'm pregnant and all the cute little things i'm going to do..like take monthly belly shots and write in a pregnancy journal and crochet little beanies and booties for my monkey....i also think about the importance of having baby monkey listen to music and also being read to while still in the womb.... So i think i'm going to make a CD one day with some of these songs.....feel free to leave some of your favorites!!!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a wonderful Life -IZ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAIKznMPXUk

One Love - Playing 4 a Change version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xjPODksI08

City Boy - Keb Mo (although i enjoy the version on his CD much better)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fk5M8Ouocc

Where the Blacktop Ends - Keith Urban (i blast this song every time i head up north in the summer's)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDXgoj3kJh8

Cowboy Take Me Away - Dixie Chicks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hntXAO_Rq7c

Give me a Home among the Gum Trees - John Williamson (love it even more that he sang it at Steve Irwin's memorial service)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxMPDp9M9TI

the things we do....

So i was thinking about all the things women (and men) do to try to get pregnant. There's many things people will tell you to do....

the first and most common one is 'to relax'.....It's the worst thing to hear...cuz i am relaxed and the more i try to tell you i'm relaxed, the more i look like i'm not..... i don't need to relax, i need working sperm and working eggs and working hormones and then i need the perfect moment when it all comes together........and then there's the eat this and stay away from that, do this and lay here and put your arm there and hold your breath for 10 seconds while humming your favorite song.......

So what are the many things i've tried......

• I've temped and charted to see when i'm most likely to ovulate
• Used many OPK's
• I've bought poppa monkey boxers and got rid of any boxer briefs
• I've walked in on poppa monkey taking a very hot shower and turned it down, explaining that he's cooking up our future children
• I've lectured poppa monkey on the importance of not wearing PJ bottoms to bed (this one the Dr said doesn't matter -so he can wear PJ bottoms to bed now)
• I've made him take multi vitamins, fertility vitamins, etc.
• I've started to work out more, watch what i eat and try to eat organic
• i upp'd my fiber only to reduce it when i read it can make females not ovulate
• i've laid on my back for 30 mins after BD'ing
• I've suck my legs in the air to have gravity help the lil' swimmers closer to my cervix
• I've switched from skim milk to 1% after reading that regular dairy can help you get pregnant
• I've learned to 'relax' - no charting, temping, OPKn' anymore

There's more i've done, but i just can't remember it all now......but i think the funniest story has to go with this thing i tried.

So a friend had sent me this link http://www.conceptionkit.com so i checked it out and found out that it was VERY pricey....i then google'd around and had heard about these instead cups being used for the similar thing... Here's a video of how you use an instead cup and it also gives you an idea of how big they are.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2drNCv9ac1I

Yeah, so i bought those cuz they're way cheaper then $300 some dollars for the conception cups... so we BD and i unwrap a cup and shove it in there....i go about my evening but wanted to take it out before i went to bed so i didn't forget about it. So, i go to fish it out and well, there's a problem....my fingers can't reach it....yup, it's stuck in there, so i start to panic a little thinking about how embarrassing it would be to have to go the ER and explain to them that i'm trying to keep the lil' swimmers close to my cervix in hoping to get pregnant and now the cup is stuck in there. Well, i holla' at poppa monkey to help me out and the look on his face was priceless when i told him what happened and what i needed him to do...... boy, what a trooper he was, he helped me get it out and then i saw that all that stupid cup did was make a barrier between the lil' swimmers and my cervix......so they didn't even get NEAR the cervix!!!!! NEVER again!!!! but it made for a funny story!!

TTC ...wha?

I have learned throughout the 2 years of trying to get pregnant that one may get a little obsessive about it. Luckily, i know that this obsession is shared and common. :) I belong to a little pregnancy community on the web and have found that many of the ladies here are just as wanting a child as any other and we get to share our journeys together, celebrate in pregnancy announcements and love when we see baby bumps and newborns!! I have learned a lot from this site, reading about pregnancy, the aches and pains and i have read about ladies who had very easy pregnancies and births (I'm hoping in fall into the latter). I have learned many little abbreviations and in this post....i am sharing them with you, in case i happen to use them in my posts.....

TTC - trying to conceive
AF -aunt flo ---we do not like her...we want her to go away for 9 months, but is glad when she comes so i know my body is working and then i can get on with my next cycle
BD - baby dance...this is my favorite part of making a baby... ;)
CM -cervical mucus
FMU -first morning urine (used to take HPT (home pregnancy tests))
POAS - pee on a stick
OPK -ovulation predictor kits (similar to HPTs but they predict ovulation)
PG -pregnant
BFP -BIG fat positive
BFN -Big fat negative
O -ovulation
CD- cycle day. (CD 1 starts the day AF comes.)
2WW - 2 week wait (this is the 2 weeks between your O and when AF is to show......these 2 weeks go extremely slow and you can get obsessive on any symptom you have)

And one i came up with: NOESIWTTLTC ---no one ever said it would take this long to conceive

During our first year in TTCing, i did not really do a whole lot, we just BD'd a lot....then after a few months, i found out about OPK's...so i started to do those hoping to pin point my O days....
a friend suggested http://www.mymonthlycycles.com/ and it helps give you an idea of when you're fertile. I then switched to http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ and it charts my cycles and lets me do a whole lot of different things.

After December of 2008 and getting poppa monkey's SA results, he started on some fertility blend vitamins for guys and i start to temp and track my ovulation, since my periods can be inconsistent. Temping consists of taking my temp. every morning at the same time without getting up and moving around....so my alarm would go off, i would have the thermometer on my night stand and then i'd take my temp, write it down and later on plug it into FF(fertilityfreind). Then when i would start getting into CD 12-20 i would start my OPK's 2, 3 times a day. Well, i temped and i charted and then another month went by and another and another. I finally decided to stop temping once my new OB/GYN stated he's pretty sure i was ovulating and i can feel my ovulation every now and again..... So, i stopped with the charting, gosh it is so freeing....

I would still do my OPK's...but after we met with the Fertility Dr in late 2009, i pretty much have stopped doing that too...... although sometimes i do a OPK just to see the two lines on a test...i know, pathetic.....but i'm not the only one!! :)

I have given 2 friends OPK's and HPT's from my 'stash' and both have wound up pregnant shortly after. One friend just announced her pregnancy and i'm truly very excited for her....and glad that the baby vibes have stuck to her. I'm hoping that if i keep poas (OPK) that it'll stick to me too..... :)

There's always a 1st...

I'm gonna have PICTURE WEDNESDAY!!! i love pictures!!!


This was my very 1st baby purchase. I bought this bib shortly after we were married in 2006. When we tell my mother in law we're expecting, this is the bib i'm going to give her, cuz that's what' she wants to be called. Wow, for 3.5 years it's been collecting dust in my baby bin.....yes, i have a baby bin. (i'll post pics on later posts)


This was the 1st pair of Cow pj's i bought for our baby monkey..... so cute!!

disclaimer for poppa monkey: No worries, all baby monkey's clothes have been collected over the last 2 years and are ALWAYS on clearance!!! I never buy full price.... :)